It’s Gettin’ Real in the Canned Goods Aisle

Photo by F Delventhal

Photo by F Delventhal

People seemed to really respond to my last blog post. Which isn’t that huge of a surprise, since I basically just ripped off that famous quote, “Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about,” but with a lot less eloquence and efficiency. I wrote it as I was emerging from a tough stretch. But, lately I’ve been feeling better. A good scan and an adjustment to a drug regimen can do that for a grrl.

So, I’ve found myself ready to re-engage with the world a bit more. I ventured to the farmers’ market for the first time in weeks, I went to a painting class, wandered into a few stores. Every time I ran into someone who’d read my last blog, I could see it instantly in their eyes, detect it immediately in their kid-glove treatment. Oy, I thought to myself. What have I done?

When I’m feeling better, I’m not really in the mood to dwell on illness. The puppy dog eyes make me want to run. I actually have dodged a few of you, ducking into the canned goods aisle, fascinated by the ingredients of creamed corn. When I’m feeling up to it, what I most crave is normalcy. Tell me your bad jokes, share your crappy day, just talk to me like a normal person.

I know I’m leaving everyone spinning with this. One week I plead, “remember I’m sick!” the next, I counter “but don’t treat me any differently!” It’s impossible really. I know. Seriously, I know. I drive myself crazy long before I drive my crazy over to your doorstep. I know writing this blog post immediately after my prior one means that I’m leaving everyone so confused that you’ll all be diving into the canned goods aisle to avoid me. It’s getting damn crowded by the creamed corn, someone’s gonna have to shift over to the green beans. Sorry about that. But, I’m just trying to keep it real, y’all. This is what it’s like, for me anyway. One week I’m wondering if anyone realizes the shit stew I’m still swimming in, day in, day out; the next I want everyone to help me pretend the stew doesn’t smell like shit.

I suppose what works best is maybe acknowledging the stew, but also discussing other topics of the day, as though I still walk amongst the living, because I do. Any honest questions or discussion are welcome, and go easy on the sappy stuff. It’s not an easy tightrope to walk. I appreciate that. So, yeah. Good luck with that. I’ll see you in the canned goods aisle.