Tales from Isolation: Day 20/Update #20
I have been isolating with my family since March 11. Today is day 20, the “Clean the vacuum HEPA filters day,” a day which I have never before reached in my 47+ years on this planet. It is also the…
Dualities: Truth & Hope (Update 19)
I’ve written about living in two worlds before. It’s a continual struggle of mine. Please indulge me as I publicly process some more, in the hope that it might help others contemplating these existential questions, too. As I’ve mentioned many…
The Positivity Paradox (Update #18)
In the last few months it feels like I’ve shifted into a new phase of life with a Stage IV lung cancer diagnosis. In September, I surpassed 5 years on a medication that has a median effective time of…
Update #17 — False Alarm!
When I was growing up, one of my very favorite movies was Grease. The last few weeks I kept thinking of the scene where Rizzo yells out to everyone at the carnival: “It was a false alarm!” She was referring…
Update #16 – Can’t Have the Positive Without the Negative
Doctors have told me since the very beginning of my diagnosis that my disease is incurable and terminal. Yet, almost 5 years on my current medication has encouraged my, perhaps fanciful, belief that somehow, just maybe, I can escape what…
Live Every Day Like It’s Your _First_ (Update # 15)
Last year I met with a shaman (side note: it was totes kosher because he was half-Jewish – a Sh’ma’n?). The shaman was awesome, and mostly what you probably imagine a shaman to be: wise, magical, smelling of sage. He…
If a Milestone Falls in the Forest, Does it Still Make a Sound? (Update #14)
Five years ago today, I checked into the hospital for an out-patient biopsy that was supposed to be NBD and woke up to the worst news of my life. In general, I don’t mark my “cancerversaries.” I prefer to reserve…
The Most Romantic Gift I Ever Received
I’ve written about several people who have supported and moved me in the last four years. But, there’s been one glaring omission: my husband Eric. I’ve been paralyzed. How to begin to capture that love? It’s so big and complex…
Update # 13 — Straddling Two Worlds
I had a PET scan and brain MRI this past week and everything came back clear. No signs of metastases anywhere. I give credit to my anxious pre-scan nightmares, which are obviously super helpful, plus Samantha’s expert prayer skilz (to…
Update #12 — It’s Quiet Uptown
I went to see Hamilton yesterday. It was kind of a fluke. I felt a bit badly when I scored seats for our family. I wanted to see the show, but not as desperately as I knew many others did…
