Dualities: Truth & Hope (Update 19)

I’ve written about living in two worlds before. It’s a continual struggle of mine. Please indulge me as I publicly process some more, in the hope that it might help others contemplating these existential questions, too. As I’ve mentioned many…

Lung Cancer Awareness Month - Link Love

Today is the last day of Lung Cancer Awareness Month for 2019. I have neglected to blog about it this year, I think I never quite recovered from posting a memorial per day for every day in November back in…

A Light for Marisa

When one of my friends is nearing the end, I shift into a dualistic state of being. Even as I go on with my daily life, I think of that person constantly, checking in, touching base with common friends who…

The Positivity Paradox (Update #18)

  In the last few months it feels like I’ve shifted into a new phase of life with a Stage IV lung cancer diagnosis. In September, I surpassed 5 years on a medication that has a median effective time of…

Update #17 -- False Alarm!

When I was growing up, one of my very favorite movies was Grease. The last few weeks I kept thinking of the scene where Rizzo yells out to everyone at the carnival: “It was a false alarm!” She was referring…

Update #16 - Can't Have the Positive Without the Negative

Doctors have told me since the very beginning of my diagnosis that my disease is incurable and terminal. Yet, almost 5 years on my current medication has encouraged my, perhaps fanciful, belief that somehow, just maybe, I can escape what…

Mother's Day 2019 - How My Mom Balances Me

Four years ago I wrote a Letter to my Mom. I cried as I wrote it, unsure how many more opportunities I’d have to share my love and appreciation for her on Mother’s Day. I still don’t know how many…

CEA Snakes & Sticks

Three days after my last scan, I went in for my monthly labs. I wasn’t worried because my scan had come back unchanged from previous months and I thought I was in the clear for another 12 week interval. Of…

Live Every Day Like It’s Your _First_ (Update # 15)

Last year I met with a shaman (side note: it was totes kosher because he was half-Jewish – a Sh’ma’n?). The shaman was awesome, and mostly what you probably imagine a shaman to be: wise, magical, smelling of sage. He…

Reminder: Anyone With Lungs Can Get Lung Cancer

Last week, I got a message out of the blue from an acquaintance: “Lisa – I just wanted to send you a note of thanks for sharing your experience and being so open. I went to get a chest X-ray…